A Week

This week has been odd for me.  It's been a huge amalgamate of good and bad and I find that I'm having a difficult time figuring out how I feel about it all.  On the plus side my husband was promoted, I now have a working oven (the oven was fried during a lightening storm last week), my tire is losing air incredibly slowly which leads me to believe the screw that is in it must be a small one and perhaps they can simply patch it, my sister-in-law that is getting married in October called to ask if I could do a reading at her wedding.  I did one at my brother's and at my other sister-in-law's weddings, so I'm not worried about it and I'm counting that on the good side, because we can sometimes have a rather strained relationship.

On the much less than lovely side of the week, a Marine flight student passed away during survival water training, which as much as my husband likes to pretend doesn't affect him, does.  He becomes quiet and very stoic when he's upset about something and has been behaving that way for the past few days.  It's understandable, I may be scared if it didn't affect him.  I also had a death that affected me personally, as well.  It was a little odd, in fact, that on another friend's blog one of the contributors to the blog posted about a friend that had committed suicide when he was in high school.  That was Wednesday.  The next day, I received a call from a close friend of mine telling me that a friend of ours from high school had committed suicide.  It was a friend that we were all aware, even all those years ago, had a lot of problems and all of us who were her friends at one point or another tried to help her and she had pulled her life back together for awhile.  She moved away from home, became a chef, married, but then she ended up divorced and went to live with her family again in our small hometown, probably more depressed than ever.  She committed suicide by purposefully ODing in another friend's front yard.  It's tragic.  If you knew her, you may think even more so.  She had problems, yes, but is there anyone that doesn't?  I mean, really?  As a person though, she was one of the sweetest people I've ever known.  She was a very kind, empathetic and sensitive woman.  I hope where ever she is, she's happy now.  I often find that suicide is one of those strange phenomenons where even if you yourself have been that low before, still becomes hard to understand when it's someone else.  I know my mother never quite comprehended why my uncle took his own life and it always haunted her.  Wanting to be able to do something, to stop it, questioning if she could have, but living with those questions plaguing you is toxic.  Some things simply are and when you can't change them, obsessing over them only harms you.

I hope both Patrick and Beth are at peace now.  Maybe next week will be a happy one.  *crosses fingers*

For Beth, because she loved Journey.