MY KID

Ok, so I'm fairly certain that my daughter's bus driver is one of those asshats (my significant other included) that hits the snooze button various times in the morning.  Sometimes he gets up after one snooze slam, others number 5.  This is my own take on why the bloody heck he's always early or late and the time varies by a good 10-20 minutes.  Either that or a drugged up wanker is driving my kid to school.  Yes, let us stick to option one, shall we?

Well this morning the asshat in question was early.  I mean the very beginning of the 10-20 minute gap early, so of course I'm rushing my child out the door and into the car. Why the car you ask?  Because, my friends, the bus stop is a good 150 yards away and it's 34 degrees outside.  Shell does not stand outside in 34 degree weather.  Oh, hell no.  So there I am, rushing my kid and the two neighbor kids into the car and driving up to the bus stop after the school bus when I proclaim, "ok, get out!"  Now I meant when I was at a complete stop, I did not mean for my daughter to throw the door open at an almost stop and do a dive roll out of the car.  Yes, you read that correctly.  A dive roll out of the car.  Let me explain.  Under no circumstances did I honestly believe she would listen to me. My child, God love her, lives in her own world most of the time.  I don't know what goes on there, but it must be a pretty fantastic place, because you can call her name and tell her to do something at least three or four times before she finally looks at you and says, "are you were talkin' to me?"  It's like living with a mini female Robert DeNiro.  Thus, I did not anticipate the events of this morning unfolding as they did and for all who are alarmed and wondering about her well being (like her mother who was gasping and sputtering in horror at the time) no worries, she's fine.  She jumped up, ran to the bus and laughed her fool head off.  If I didn't know better I'd swear she planned that.